How to save a divorce
To save the marriage, someone tried a new method: “try a divorce.”
That is, when both people agree to a divorce, they are not in a hurry to supplement the divorce procedures legally, but just “divorce” in their lives first, so that both parties can experience a life without “the other half” in the context of divorce; At the same time, it enables both parties to calmly reflect on the marriage, recognise him or her, give the marriage a buffer period, and then decide whether to leave or not.
The stories of women trying to divorce here may give some inspiration to those who are also on the verge of divorce.
Fortunately, he was on a business trip for three months. Wu Mei, female, 28 years old. The first two years after marriage of the company employee, he treated me like a princess, and proudly introduced me as my wife. I bear the love of him.The whole person moved.
Seriously, love is the nutrient that I rely on to survive, and this is exactly fatal, because once I lose this nutrient, the fresh marriage life will slowly wither away.
In the third year after the marriage, the problem came. He and a female college student who had just been assigned to their unit went on a business trip outside the city.
It came to my ears, and all my good faith in men collapsed instantly.
Unfortunately, that day I encountered a 2-year-old son who was ill. I carried him to the hospital by myself, thinking that he was laughing and laughing outside with my lover, but I went back and forth between the hospital and home.Running around, I feel sad.
Sitting on a hospital bench, my tears could not stop.
Later, even though he confessed to me on his knees and vowed to never do that again, I couldn’t forgive him.
He treats me as always, but I don’t think it’s true love anymore.
What made me feel terrible was that I became unacceptable to him, trivial, hysterical, worldly.
For example, as soon as I saw that he was dressed beautifully, I mocked whether he was going to date with his lover; when he wanted to be with me, I wondered if he had treated other women diligently.; I often check his mobile phone, check his e-mail box, reveal his scars . Until one day, he finally growled at me: “If you don’t want to live with me, just forget it.
“I show no sign of weakness:” What’s so great, just leave!
With a sigh of anger, he signed the divorce agreement.
Since he is going on a business trip for 3 months, we have agreed to go through the formalities together after he returns from a business trip.
In these three months without him, I slowly cooled down, and his goodness to me once again appeared in front of me.
What would my life be like without him?
I asked myself over and over again.
For the first time I felt that he was still so important in my life, and I almost paid a heavy price for my morale.
On the day he returned from a business trip, I called on a few of his friends and went to the station to pick him up, so we spent the full moon again.
Postponing the divorce gave me a calm mind about marriage.
Now, our husband and wife have become a new selves, striving to be more considerate and warm to each other, so that every day is like a love before marriage.
I secretly rejoice: Fortunately, he has been on a business trip for 3 months!
Divorce Reunion He Li, female, 36 years old, freelance writer We are a couple with a marriage age of 12 years.
Twelve years ago, we were two poor students who had just graduated and had almost nothing except our love.
Twelve years later, we have all achieved certain results in our respective fields. Almost all of them have now, but we are tired of each other and each has his own confidant of the opposite sex.
Finally, we decided to break up.
When everything was over, he left. At last he asked me, “What more do you want?
“what do you need?
I looked at him and couldn’t remember anything else.
I had a whimsical thought and said, “Let’s go to Beijing, where the acquaintances will end there.
“He listened for a moment, then nodded.
We bought our tickets, packed our bags, and set off on our divorce journey to say goodbye to our 12-year marriage.
On the train, we found the sleeper carriage.
Two sleeping berths, one for the upper berth and one for the lower berth. If it was before, he would take the initiative to sleep on the upper berth and leave the lower berth to me.
But now, we are about to cease to be husband and wife. I offered to toss a coin to decide, and he agreed.
As a result, I lost, dragged my bulky body, and climbed very hard, lying on the slender, sultry upper bunk. I only knew how comfortable it was to sleep on the lower bunk, but I didn’t feel it before. It was almost noon when the train arrived in Beijing. We found a hotel for dinner. The waiter handed me the menu. I ordered a “spicy chicken” and he remembered it. This is my favorite dish, but I have 3I haven’t eaten in years.
Because his stomach had been operated on 3 years ago and he could not eat irritating food, our family never made this dish again. When he and I went to the restaurant for dinner, I never ordered this dish again.
It can be seen that at that moment, his heart was full of regret.
In a divorce trip of more than a week, although we ate, lived, and played together, we were two separate people.
Spend your own money, choose what you like to eat, play with what you like, and sleep in your bed at night. You don’t have to take care of the other party and change yourself for the other party.
At first, both people felt a sense of liberation, but within a few days we began to feel the emptiness and loneliness of liberation.
The day of the return journey has arrived, and there is an inexplicable fear in the hearts of the two people. We do not know where the fear originated.
The return journey means eternal separation for us and eternal freedom.
This used to be the relief we both hoped for, but now, on the eve of separation, we are all a little scared.
Freedom and security cannot coexist. You can choose one, but not both.
We got on the train silently. There were still two sleeper tickets, still one on the other, but by the time I took out the coins with a trembling hand, he had already climbed to the upper bed alone.
I looked up to see his two feet and the grey socks with a hole in my feet. My heart was sore. How could I not see it in the past?
That night, I didn’t sleep, so did he.
Both were awake, one on the upper berth and one on the lower berth, separated by a distance, but our hearts have never been so close.
After the divorce came back, we lived together again. No one mentioned the divorce.
Give me another chance to get married. Seagull, female, 32 years old. My teacher Zhang Lin and my husband Zhang Lin are university alumni and belong to the kind of love at first sight.
I haven’t seen any other boy in my heart since I knew him.
I am confident that extramarital affairs will never happen to me and Zhang Lin.
However, I was wrong.
One day last May, I accidentally found a photo of a young girl in a Zhang Lin bag.
My gut tells me that Zhang Lin’s relationship with this girl is very unusual.
After my repeated inquiry, he acknowledged the hidden relationship with the girl, and my heart broke.
Zhang Lin pleaded with tears and begged me to forgive him. He said that he couldn’t do without me, he just felt a little boring about the plain marriage.
He also said that he never thought he would really leave me.
After calm thinking, he begged me to give him a chance.
But I still signed a divorce agreement with Zhang Lin, but there was no legal procedure, just separation in life.
The husband knows that the child is the only one who can keep me and the code of marriage, because the child is my life and I cannot give up.
After the trial divorce, he broke off the relationship with the young girl and became a good father. He loved his daughter very much.
Every Sunday, he rode his daughter to the Children’s Palace to learn painting, and then waited outside the door for 3 hours.
Last fall, after his daughter went to school, he checked his daughter’s homework every night, and he rushed to go to every parent meeting.
As a child care worker, I know that father’s love is as important as mother’s love in the growth of children, and even more precious in a sense.
To love children, we must give them a complete home.
In my heart, the child is the most important. For the child, I can endure all the pain and grievances.
After calm thinking, I decided to give Zhang Lin a chance.
Because if you love someone, you have to endure everything. Those in love are not without grudges, but true love can resolve grudges.
So, after 6 months, considering his outstanding performance, we are back, and both sides cherish the marriage that they almost lost.
In fact, many times, it is the taboos between the husband and wife that blind our eyes.
Is it impossible to reply again if the feelings are “sully” again, and a derailed person will definitely make mistakes again?
When we get married, we only think about love and not love, so what about divorce?
If love is still there, if you are still willing to join hands with the future, why should you close the door to happiness?Now that you still have feelings for each other, you might as well give the marriage another chance and work hard to take care of it and run it.
Repair the marriage and try to tolerate the other side during the trial divorce, close one eye and tolerate the other side’s fault.
Some couples try their best to change each other after marriage, so that their characters, hobbies and themselves tend to be consistent. As a result, they often go against their wishes. Not only cannot they change each other, but they also increase the psychological distance between the two.
Facing the differences, the sensible choice is tolerance.
This tolerance in getting along with a couple can ease life conflicts and deepen love.
At the same time, pay attention to changing some shortcomings in your personality and habits.
Because changing oneself is easier to overcome than changing others. To properly accommodate each other in the hobbies and habits of life can not only eliminate a lot of friction, but also promote the harmonious relationship between husband and wife.
Avoid conflicts During a trial divorce, it is best not to criticize each other.
Even if you have to say a few words, you must use a gentle tone, because a gentle tone is conducive to psychological communication and can eliminate rebellious psychology.
Don’t make any decision rashly when you are in a bad mood or when the two sides are in dispute. You have to wait for things to change before handling them calmly.
Humor and self-mockery are the best ways to actively seek divorce.
If you do something wrong, ask the other party to forgive.
So, it is a woman’s instinct to hold, and the man should take the initiative, put down the stinky shelf of the manly husband, and give the woman a smile, and say a good word.
In this way, even the stubborn “fortress” will break free.
Before you talk openly, you need a pen and a piece of paper to list the problems that cause your marriage crisis in your life, even if it is the smallest problem.
When you are ready for a calm mood and analyzed all the reasons, you should take the initiative to propose personality.
Personality should be open and honest in the absence of a third party, and put all possible problems on the table.
Ask someone to help some couples in order to maintain their self-esteem, do not easily compromise with each other, insist on letting each other take the initiative to talk to themselves.
In this case, it is best to ask someone for help. In some cases, find a friend who has certain prestige for both parties to host a conversation. As for you, take the opportunity to take the ladder down the stairs, take the initiative to admit your mistakes, and prove yourself.Is a person who knows how to change and is reasonable.
In this way, what other reason does the other party not reconcile with you?